Friday, May 6, 2011

May and farewell.


Terlambat sedar sekarang dah masuk May. ada sebab aku excited bila dengar je bln May ni. banyak jugak sebabnya sampai aku rasa bulan May sepatutnya ada 2 3 kali setahun hahaha berangan jela nak birthday 2 3 kali setahun. sape nak kasi hadiah kalau banyak-banyak kali kan. okay aku dah bagi hint tu dan paham-paham jela. lambat lagi, seminggu lagi for those yang nak belikan hadiah ke ape nak plan nak belanje makan pun takpe. *ada ke? ahaha

Yesterday was someone's birthday. guess who? hee I know him from past 10 years. even on his birthday, he didn't even care for his birthday present instead he asked me, what is it in my wishlist for my birthday. I didn't say anything because I can give him nothing in return. but then, he insisted to buy me something because he just had a request for me to fulfill. he asked for something I don't think I can give. A photo of mine as a birthday present. I don't have any idea how should I talk to him so that he will understand me. This a letter for someone from my past if he happens to read this blog. I myself feel uneasy if things keep getting complicated like now.

Dear you,

It'd been long long time since we last met in 2008 if I'm not mistaken. In almost 4 years time we didn't see each other and we still live well as anyone can possibly imagine. like we live in different planets where you got things to do and I have mine too. simpler said, we live in different roads that lead us to different paths with no possibilities to meet up along the road. after days, months and years, the road will keep diverging that we don't even have the chance to talk to each other and we might end up not knowing each other anymore even we try hard not to forget the memories we used to have before. Thousand apologize, hope you get my point.

we'd grown and you finally grown as well dude. and I was like puzzled  myself to hear how well you manage to say those words that I'm pretty sure you don't even have in your mind before. you are now a mature and grown man but still you are confusing yourself by holding to the memories. please wake up dude, we are no longer what we used to be. I have known you for quite some times that you are strong enough. prove it, being strong sometimes means being able to let go. It doesn't matter how deep we may have been stuck in a sense of love before. Imagine, if we got lost in the journey we used to be in, it doesn't matter if the journey has been ended for a day, a week, or ten thousand years, we will not going into that place again for the chance of getting lost again there. Once we loose our hope for love and happiness, the pain felt keep reminding us not to be in. Time may heal the anguish of the wound, but the scar cannot and can never be repaired.

It is not a time to look back at the good times instead it is now a time for us to look ahead to live our dreams peacefully and the most important, separately. the past is a good place to visit but not a good  place to stay dear. It is the end of something simple and the beginning of everything new, for me and for you as well. the beginning had started from previous years, just you have to live it well from now onwards. you deserved it anyway. The world is round and the place which may seem like the end, may also be the beginning. it's the time for you to live well and forget the past. please do.!

I wish not to say this but in fact, it's true. every relationship is like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. I don't wanna get hurt again and hate you again in my life. I'd rather come clear with you now, not giving any false hopes that will hurt you more later on. 

A farewell is necessary before we can meet again as two new person with no more butt hurt or pain felt inside, after moments or a lifetime. We will looking forward to it, shall we? Whenever the thought of you and our memories come, I hope I can smile remembering, once in my lifetime, I used to walk together with you being the reason why for the smile on my face. 

'someone from your past '

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