The end of the journey

I do have one simple perspective upon life in short; it's a destined journey, whereby everything is written by God the Almighty. This written route ends when we die and continues in hereafter. The purpose to live is only being the slave of Him; to perform obligation towards Him and not to commit sins as this world is made as the field to plant the seeds, and we all would harvest the result later in hereafter.

In going through life as a whole, we would found variety of obstacles and they may appear simply in the form of positive and negative, in other words, the ups and downs. I define them as the tests from Him just to examine how deep our faith towards Him, how grateful we are, how much we would devote ourselves to Him and to know Him better.

Praised be to Allah who has given us life, showers us with love, filling our life with everything that we never ask for. He made us so perfectly. Despite, as a human being, sometimes, I admit that there are tests that I couldn't really handle, but I do believe that I still have tomorrow, better days and years to come. Allah is always good.  All in all, gain as many as possible the blessings from Him. The time is running out for everyone,and no one knows when the journey ends.

 iluvislam

Nawaitu

assalamualaikum w.b.t

serangan malware kat blog aku buat aku segan dan malu dengan seisi blogger-blogger tegar yg selalu nak tawu update pasal aku*perasan macam ramai. oke, baik-baik. aku dah cube weh nak buang segala benda alah tu sebab tuan asal 'saka malware' ni sendiri pun dah buat blog lain. aku kena buat blog baru jugak ke? adoiyyai nak buat jugak tapi sayang dekat blog ni sebab dah banyak aku bebel-cari-pasal kat blog ni. so buat masa ni aku decide, biarlah dulu. bila dah betol-betol sampai seru barulah akan ada namasayajaja.blogspot yang kedua. selagi tu korang proceed anyway jela bila dah bukak link blog aku then kuar warning kaler merah tu dan jangan lupa, bawak-bawak bersabar sekali.

hari ni jumaat. aku kat kelantan ni dah weekend dah. macam weekend biasa aku balik rumah tapi hari ni, aku rasa lain sangat. cerita dia macam ni. aku kena pergi buat hearing screening kat satu sekolah rendah ke menengah tah kat area-area kampung ayah aku jugak. dekat jela dengan rumah. bukan kena pergi, kami (aku dan coursemate lain) yang nak pergi. kira macam tolong-tolong prof.din sebab ni macam projek amal untuk public. takde lagi yang luar biasa kan.? hearing screening pun cerita biasa bagi seorang student audiology  macam aku tapi part yang paling lain-dari-yang-lain nye still ada. macam ni, aku rasa sayu dan rasa bertuah dipilih untuk pergi tadi sebab semua kat situ ala-ala alim jugak dan tak kurang jugak yang educated lengkap dengan segala sifat-sifat mahmudah iaitu humble sangat. 

contoh paling dekat, prof.din sendiri. aku respect sangat dia and wife, dr.norhani sebab sifat generous and humble dorang sebab, setahu aku sekolah agama yang aku pergi tadi tu, dia lah penyumbang terbesar untuk sekolah tu. then kat sana jugaklah aku baru tahu, diaorang semua under satu persatuan nama Ikram Kelantan yang scope job persatuan diaorang ialah berdakwah dan program tadi kira macam diaorang punya monthly gathering. alhamdulilah, aku terpilih melihat suasana yang buat aku terfikir dan berfikir banyak. 

ape yang aku boleh terfikir dan berfikir? macam ni, seorang doktor and ape-ape pekerjaan pon even kerja cleaner, pilot, tukang masak sekalipun, weekdays adalah hari bekerja dan akan ada weekend untuk berehat. even yang tak dapat rehat weekend still akan ada off day at least sehari kan? correct me if I'm wrong sebab aku rasa semua kerja akan ada hari cuti dan takde keja yang kena keja full 7days per week kan? prof din macam yang aku kenal ialah seorang yang sangat-amat-paling busy sebab kelas pun selalu cancel huhu pecah rahsia tapi betul. contoh macam bila nak confirm kelas tiba-tiba cakap ada kat India dan tibe ada kat tempat lain. then kelas cancel horrayyyy huhuuu student nak kelas cancel je, pemalas.

okay. yang aku nak cerita kat sini aku rasa takde ape lagi yang kurang dalam hidup seseorang bila kita ada Allah . aku boleh nampak prof din and his awesome family as complete package and aku sangat teringin nak ada keluarga yang diberkati dirahmati dan ditolongi oleh Allah macam tu. sebab aku yakin, dah banyak orang yang memerlukan yang diaorang tolong dan sebab tu la, Allah tak pernah susahkan mereka dan permudahkan segala kerja buat diaorang. lepas dah siapkan sekolah, sekarang tengah usahakan pulak bina masjid, surau untuk sekolah tu. subhanallah, besar pahala Allah untuk dia dan keluarga kerana berkongsi kesenangan dunia sementara yang Allah pinjamkan dengan hamba Allah lain.

takde alasan sibuk dengan urusan dunia bila kita sedar, Allah hanya hantarkan kita sementara kat dunia ni. kalau kita buat-buat sibuk dengan keduniaan, bayangkan kalau Allah buat-buat sibuk dan lupa tunaikan doa-doa kita? nauzubillah. kalau alasan sibuk macam mana pun weekdays kita, still kita ada weekend untuk beramal. bukan weekend je, kalau ada masa tak kira bila-bila masa terluang pun, ambillah masa untuk buat kebajikan dan tolong orang yang memerlukan. insya allah, aku pun akan begitu. bekerja dan bekerja on weekdays kerana Allah dan bila weekend, ambil masa untuk buat kebajikan kepada orang yang memerlukan dan habiskan masa dengan family. complete.! insya allah, ameen ya rabb.

impian aku, just seorang suami yang soleh. yang boleh mengimamkan solat lima waktu di rumah bersama aku dan anak-anak, yang akan tegur aku dengan lembut bila aku terleka dengan duniawi supaya kembali ke jalan Allah, yang akan jaga makan pakai aku supaya selalu mengikut syariat dan sunnah, bahagia bersama-sama hingga ke syurga, sahabat untuk berkongsi semua rasa, pelengkap kepada semua kekurangan aku, penghibur di masa sedih dan risau aku, penyembuh masa aku sakit dan rasa tak kuat lagi. paling penting, yang akan mendekatkan aku lagi kepada ALLAH. 

ya allah ya rahim, aku yakin dengan janjiMu. perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik. jadikan aku seorang muslimah yang solehah yang sentiasa patuh dan taat pada suruhanMu dan takut akan azabMu. jadikan aku seorang yang solehah untuk seorang lelaki yang soleh. ameen :) 

*selalu aku kalah dengan lelaki bercermin mata. kenapelaa eh.....

The Mighty Creator of all Souls, give me a sweet soulmate. O You, who is eternal and absolute and who has no partner at all, provide me with a pious partner

"...you should show courtesy and be cordial with each other, so that nobody should consider himself superior to another nor do him harm." Riyadh-us-Saleheen. Hadith 602.


Islam has made a good wife the best treasure a man can have in his life, after belief in Allah and following His commands. She is considered the key to happiness. According to the Hadith, "the Prophet (greetings and peace be upon him) told `Umar, shall I tell you the best a man can treasure? It is a good wife. If he looks at her, she gives him pleasure; if he orders her, she obeys; and if he is away from her, she remains faithful to him".[Transmitted by Abu Dawud in the authority of Ibn Abbas in "Zakat 2/1664; Al-Hakim who amended it 2/333, approved by
Al-Dhahaby.]


There are seven kinds of people will be sheltered under the shade of God on the Day of Judgment. 
1.They are a just ruler
2. a young man who passed his youth in the worship and service of God.
3. One whose heart is attached to the mosque.
4. Two people who love each other for the sake of God.
5. A man who is invited to sin but declines, saying 'I fear God'.
6. One who spends his charity in secret, without making a show.
7. 0ne who remembers God in solitude so that his eyes overflow." 
Riyadh-us-Salaheen, Hadith 376.




The Prophet s.a.w.s was asked: "Which woman is the best"?

He said:  "The one who pleases him when he looks at her, who obeys him when he  tells her to do something, and the one who dont do somethinghe dislikes with regard to herself or to his wealth"

Allah would say on the Day of Judgement: "Where are those who love each other for the sake of My glory? Today I will shelter them with My shade, as there is no shade today except My shade"." (narrated by Muslim)

We may love the wrong person, cry for the wrong reason, but one thing is sure, mistakes help us to find the right person. Many people aren't happy with their current state and so am I but I hope yet that someone will come in to their life and mine as well and love us the way we always wanted. Insya Allah.! Everything happens for a reason. May be we don't see the reasons now, but when it is finally revealed, it will blow we away with happiness. Ameen~

hijab

Let them say about my hijab that it wastes my youth
Let them increases my blame, I belong to the religion
I swear I don't care of what they say, my intention is as mountains
There is no meaning for the beauty if you can get it easily
Let them say about my hijab that it wastes my youth
Let them increases my blame, I belong to the religion
I swear I don't care of what they say, my intention is as mountains
There is no meaning for the beauty if you can get it easily
They tried to cheat me, I screamed leave me alone
I will stay in my fences, I don't accept an impudence
They
will not defeat my pride, I am the purity sign 
I walked and piety is my
shine... 
I walked after the best Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah 
be upon him)
Proud myself I refuse to be law... Oh my sister... Somaya is my best example
I feed my soul with the guidance of the religion... 
Oh sister our fountain is pure 
Let them say about my hijab that it wastes my youth
Let them increases my blame, I belong to the religion
I swear I don't care of what they say, my intention is as mountains
There is no meaning for the beauty if you can get it easily
Our way is the way of chastity... 
Walk in it you do not fear
Our religion is the religion of virtue it doesn't accept the vice
Oh daughter of religion fly to the paradise
With my hijab I win the respect I will go forward... 
I don't care of blaming me
Let them say about my hijab that it wastes my youth
Let them increases my blame, I belong to the religion
I swear I don't care of what they say, my intention is as mountains
There is no meaning for the beauty if you can get it easily

Love me

Love me...

when I sip on your coffee or tea. I only wants to make sure it tastes just right for you...

when I am jealous. Out of all the men I can have, I chose you.

when I have annoying little habits that drives you nuts. You have them too.

when my cooking is bad. I tried.

when I look scary in the morning. I always fixes myself up again.

when I make you watch corny love dramas while the sport is on. I wants to share these moments with you.

when I ask if I looks fat. Your opinion counts, so tell me I am beautiful.

when I look beautiful. I am yours so appreciate me.

when I spend hours to get ready. I only wants to look my best for you.

when I buy you gifts you don't like. Smile and tell me its what you've always wanted.

when I cry for absolutely nothing. Don't ask, tell me its going to be okay

when I suffer from PMS. Buy chocolate, rub my feet and just chat to me

when whatever I do is not pleasing. It happens and will pass

when I stain your clothes. You needed a new shirt anyway

when I argue. I only wants to make things right. 


All these things form part of a woman's character. Woman are part of your life and should be treated as the QUEEN. Take time to make me feel special in every way (which is allowed in Islam).

Remember
"A women came out of the rib of man,not his feet to be walked on,nor his head to be superior over;she came from his side to be his companion,under his arm to be protected, and next to his heart to be be loved.”

family

An ideal family

…….is something
very precious and meaningful to us which is also very close to our 
hearts, it is everyone dreams of having an ideal family, wishes to live 
and experience a meaning life in an ideal family. However, is our family
an ideal family? Do we have the qualities of an ideal family? If we 
do,it is amazing and we have to maintain it, if we don’t meet those characteristic of a ideal family, then we should strive to have one. How
do we categorize an ideal family? Is it by the wealth we have or the 
large number of family members? I strongly believe that an ideal family 
is a religious home blessed with love, happiness and serenity, it’s a 
home embroidered with responsibility and empathy, furnished with 
honesty, loyalty and trustworthiness. It’s a home that creates a 
blissful atmosphere within the family circles and overflowing to the 
community around.Why do we need to build an ideal family?All of us believe in lasting relationship, a true relationship is not built for a reason, a season but for a lifetime. In an ideal family , we built lasting relationship to help each other for extrinsic motivation.
When our relationship is lasting it will be secure and we have rooms to
create happiness when we are committed in our relationship. A part from
that, we can arouse tranquility in our homes if we love and respect 
each family member.How do we build an ideal family?Is it by making more money, buying more properties, or expending business? Normally,
human have the desire to gain wealth for the family, but in reality the
inner wealth is more important than the external wealth. So, we must 
put more effort to gain the inner wealth that’s love. Why did I mention the word, love? It is because I believe to have a strong successful relationship is by
opening up the power of love within our hearts as love can enhance 
human energy which enables the other main components like trust, 
respect, empathy, sharing, commitment, patience to flow in holistically, inshaAllah.

May Allah subhanwa ta'ala guide us to be good Muslimeen and make us walk upon the Quran and Sunnah ameen

They first met at a den of sin and vice
the meeting criteria being; was the other looking nice
Never was their criteria Deen
In fact Deen in them, couldn't be seen.

After many a lewd and very crude an interlude
the details of which, often, were very rude
they decided to tie the knot
rather than wallow and rot

Then came the engagement function
quite contrary to the Shari injunction
With free intermingling of the sexes
it, one with an iota of Imaan vexes

Suddenly the telephone, an important tool
became the plaything of these Shaytaani fools
Long before the prolonged nikah date
they behaved as if they were intimate mates

Finally came the big wedding 'do'
with them trying to be like the Jones's too!
The bride sat like a waxen puppet on the stage
much to her Lord's rage

With all and sundry viewing and even kissing the bride
isn't Jahanum for them a complimentary ride?
Do they entertain a hope of this marriage to last
when they do not hold onto Deen fast?

Dear Kesayangan Aku

Firman Allah s.w.t. yang mafhumnya berbunyi :

"Dan janganlah kamu bersikap lemah dan janganlah (pula) kamu bersedih hati padahal kamulah orang-orang yang paling tinggi(darjatnya) jika kamu orang-orang yang beriman."

(Surah Ali Imran : ayat 139)

Walau diuji, sekali mahupun berkali-kali, simpan dalam fikiran bahawa itulah takdir yang ditetapkan Allah buat kita. Walau sesusah, sepayah manapun untuk menerima, kena ingat itulah yang terbaik buat diri kita. Allah takkan silap, takkan menzalimi hambaNya. Kitalah yang sering menzalimi diri kita dengan tangan-tangan kita sendiri.

Hakikat perlu diterima, buat kebaikan diri kita dan yang lain. Apa jua bentuk ujian yang menimpa kita, dan sedalam mana kesannya pada diri kita, jangan jadikan ianya sebagai alasan terbantutnya usaha kita untuk maju di masa depan. Sebaliknya, ambillah iktibar, jadikanlah tauladan dari apa yang terjadi, moga ia menjadi penyuntik semangat untuk kita lebih kuat, lebih tabah untuk menghadapi hari-hari yang mendatang.

“Sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum sehingga mereka mengubah keadaan yang ada pada diri mereka sendiri.”

(Surah Ar-Ra’d : ayat 11)

Semuanya berbalik pada diri kita. Mahu berubah? Mahu mendapatkan yang terbaik? Semuanya harus bermula dengan diri kita sendiri. Azam perlu ditanam, iltizam perlu dipertingkat, do’a perlu dilazimi, istiqamah perlu seiring, dan akhirnya serahkan segalanya pada Dia yang Maha Kuasa. InshaAllah, Dia senantiasa bersama-sama mereka yang sabar, dan tekun dalam pekerjaannya. Bukanlah Allah timpakan kita dengan ujian untuk menghancurkan semangat kita, membuat kita putus asa, tapi semata-mata kerana itulah cara Dia mentarbiyah atau mengajar kita, supaya kita akan lebih tersedia, lebih sempurna untuk maju ke depan. Saat Allah menguji kita, ingatlah itu cara atau bukti Dia kasih akan kita.

dear bff, aku pernah rasa dan alhamdulilah, aku boleh lepas semua dugaan tu. satu je sebab, aku yakin Allah selalu sayang aku sebab aku tak pernah melakukan apa-apa tanpa melupakanNya dan tetap mengutamakanNya sebab aku takut akan azab kelak dan kemudian hari walaupun aku pernah terleka terlalai terlupa kejap. bangun lah sayang, aku ada dan sentiasa ada. aku lari, aku bukan menyampah tapi aku taknak billa cerita yang tak sepatutnya diingat lagi diceritakan balik, ada hati yang menangis, ada hati yang sakit. semuanya akan baik seperti biasa insya allah. jangan pernah lupa merayu, merintih dan meminta kepadaNya. allah suka kita selalu meminta dan allah suka hambanya yg selalu bertaubat dan kembali kepadanya. insya allah.

Doa Seorang Wanita

I may never be good enough for you,but i will always be the best for someone who deserves me.. from Jan 2010 till Jan 2011, u give me happiness , joy..u are my sunshine..u are my sources of happiness..u are my applepie dear. i love u, truly.. deep inside my heart, i want u to be wanting me like i do..

awak, sepanjang awak dengan saya, saya suka perangai awak yang sengal, spontan, cool dan sabar dengan sy yg childish when comes to the point awk dan sy.. even sy sebenarnya cukup matured bila dengan orang laen.. awak sangat suka gelak, buat sy ketawa.. i love your smile.. u make me comfort being by your side..

i love listening to your sweet singing 'baik-baik sayang' and 'dear god' and so on.... i admit that i’m the one who always remember our memories..

til now, saya still sayang kan awak.. i cried a lot cause i lost my sunshine..u said that u won’t treat me this special if u r just playing around with me.. that's why I keep asking you in first 3 days after that day... saya nak tau..tapi entah la.. simpan je la eh.. biar la jadi rahsia awak :)

cukup la saya menangis selama ni.. from now on, saya berusaha tak nak menangis lagi sebab awak.. terima kasih atas semua memories..saya doa kan awak bahagia di samping dia or someone else yang awak rasa akan lebih sayangkan awak drpd sy.. :)

there’s no point in holding on to something that will never be yours.. that’s why today, i’m letting him go.. slowly..  i know I can do it, sooner or later :)


sekarang sy tawu, dalam hidup sy, sy cume perlukan lelaki yang sygkan sy seadanya. paling penting, sy nak seorang yang akan melengkapkan semua kekurangan sy, yg akan membantu sy mendekatkan lagi diri kepada Allah, yang boleh mendidik sy menjadi seorang wanita yang sempurna di mataNya, yang boleh mengimamkan solat jemaah bersama sy dan anak-anak kelak.  insya allah.

I’m not okay right now, but I’m going to be.

I think I lost who I am. I spent all my time just trying to find the strength to pull myself out of bed in the morning and make it through the day. If I made it through in one piece, I’d call it a good day. I spent it trying to cope. I see now that I wasn’t living at all, I was just surviving. I still heard things people were saying, but I had stopped listening. I shut out the people who make me happy. I stopped doing the things that make me happy. I stopped believing in myself and my worth.

I need to deal with these problems, I need to change that, I need to find myself again and above that- I want to be happy. The sad thing is that I can’t remember what it feels like to be happy, and I mean genuinely happy. I don’t mean smiling and pretending to be for a few minutes just so nobody asks any questions. 

That’s what this year is about for me. I’m obviously not exactly the same as I was before, but parts of me are still the same- I need to remember and rediscover those parts. And I need to find the new things, the new parts of me I haven’t found yet. 

It’s not going to be easy, it’s probably going to be one of the hardest things I’ve done. It’s going to take a long time, but I know I’m going to get there no matter how long it takes me. I’m not okay right now, but I’m going to be. I know that now.

If you desire Allah swt to be persistent in granti

ng you the thing you love, be persistent in doing the thing He loves” – Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal-

Mistik

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demmit. just realized how i miss all of you. it'd a while since this pic taken (2003) 

Semuanya bermula hampir sedekad yang lepas. Dekat sebuah sekolah berasrama penuh, semuanya perempuan. Masa tu sekolah tu baru buka. Ada sekelompok students, mereka macam nakal, tak jugak, mereka memang nakal pun. Masa tu nak dekat SPM, dorang macam kita la nak success cemerlang gila tapi mereka guna cara kotor. Aku tak tau macam mana nak cakap tapi dorang main macam spirit panggil roh what ever aku tak reti nak explain, tapi macam tu lah.

So, ada 'makhluk' yang datang menolong. Aku tak pasti apa jadi dengan result SPM dorang tapi sekarang dengar cerita mereka success sangat, belajar sampai overseas, ambil Medicine, Engineering semua.

Tapi lepas mereka grad dari sekolah tu, generation by generation masuk sekolah tu, everything macam okay okay saja. Kadang kadang memang ada benda kacau, tapi tak teruk sangat. Sampai awal tahun 2011. Sebab makin lama makin teruk perangai students kat situ, dulu baik sangat, sampai orang orang sekitar panggil students kat sekolah ni puteri, sekarang orang pun dah tak ramai respect mereka. Tapi dari segi pelajaran, diakui mereka meningkat.

Sekarang, junior makin teruk, langsung tak respect senior. Jalan kalau boleh selisih bahu dengan senior Form 5 kira macam biasa je, tak rasa pape. Kalau dulu, serious memang teruk kena brain wash dengan senior, tak tipu. Jeling sikit dah kena tegur. Sampai cikgu pun dah pening macam mana nak handle budak budak ni sekarang ni.

So, nak dijadikan cerita, dengan keras kepala budak budak ni, fyi, budak budak ni baru Form 2, geng ramainya dalam 12 orang. Lepas bacaan surah malam sebelum tidur (biasanya mereka akan baca surah beramai-ramai sebelum tidur dan pintu pagar asrama akan dikunci), tapi satu malam sebab budak budak ni dah bengang benci yang membuak buak dengan senior, so mereka curi curi keluar pergi library sekolah. Tak pasti macam mana mereka deal dengan segala kunci asrama or library tu.

Bayangkan, tengah tengah malam, pergi library sekolah yang sunyi, konon nak belajar. Tapi Allah nak tunjuk, salah seorang dari mereka kena rasuk. Lembaga yang berusia hampir 200 tahun masuk ke dalam badan student ni sampai budak ni kalau cakap memang macam orang tua, jalan pun sama.

Tapi dorang still pergi jugak library tu every night after bacaan surah malam. Budak yang kena rasuk tu tak kacau orang tapi perangai dia pelik. Sah, memang ada benda dalam badan dia. Perangai dia pelik sangat. Budak tu cakap, generasi student sekarang jahat jahat. Tak macam dulu, masa zaman S*****A jadi ketua pelajar, budak budak baik. Dia kata lagi, dia suka dengan Cikgu N**A sebab dia jaga library baik sangat, nak masuk bagi salam tapi student sekarang yang buat semua ni jadi teruk, korang jahat tidur dan buat bising dalam library.

Yang paling pelik, si budak Form 2 ni, macam tahu everything. Tanya la dia soalan Biology, Add Maths Form 5, semua dia boleh jawab. Sebab benda tu cakap, dia dah lama duduk library, so dia banyak membaca. Tanya la cikgu mana kat sekolah tu, semua dia kenal. Ketua pelajar yang lepas, semua dia tahu.

Mereka interview budak ni for details. Mereka minta budak ni tunjukkan mana papan game spirit yang student lepas main tu, dia cakap belakang sekolah. So mereka pergi cari memang jumpa.

Sekarang benda tu masuk dalam badan budak Form 2 ni sebab nak cari L**DA, orang yang main spirit dekat 10 tahun lepas, sebab nak darah L**DA. Tapi dia tak boleh dekat dengan L**DA. Dia memang dah nak mati, so sebab tu dia nak darah.

credit to storyteller

ni depan kelas form 5. bawah library ni hahaha

cerita aku : seram. aku sampai tak boleh tidur malam tu lepas baca kat blog qist. teringat aku pernah 2 Hajar, selang satu kelas je dengan library. teringat sorang kawan yang lemah semangat pernah kena rasuk ke hape tah sampai histeria. pernah jugak handle dormmate yang tersampuk or whatsoever siap cakar tangan orang yang pegang dia lagi. thanks God aku kuat lah sikit daripada orang yang lemah sangat sebab tu aku belum pernah diuji lagi dengan benda-benda alah camni. nauzubillah. 

adik-adik there, obey the rules so you won't regret for being in scipp. ignore all the things and remember ALLAH. He creates us and 'them' as well, there is such a huge difference between us and 'them'. it's a blessing that Allah gives us the mind to think better than 'them' so prove it dudes.!

Nak senyum je, sekarang dan sampai bila-bila

mid semester break dah nak habis pun. aku pun tak taw aku buat ape seminggu ni. tapi macam cepat sangat sampai aku lupa banyak benda. dah lama tak online sebab sibuk dan sibuk dengan dunia. tapi malam ni aku online dengan puas hati sebab dah pakai broadband sendiri. gelakkan diri sendiri sebab selama ni rasa kedekut sangat nak habiskan duit bulan-bulan bayar untuk barang yang tak nampak macam broadband. fikir balik, selalu aku prefer beli baju tudung macam tak sedar diri. yang tu takpe pulak sebab nampak.? haha then aku decide lepas dah tanyekan mak and mak kate kalau rase perlu then go for it lah. okay mak, nanti mak tak payah dah topap kan kite lagi tiap-tiap bulan. kredit banyak-banyak buat ape, kite call mak bukan habis banyak pun. selalu sedih je tengok kredit banyak-banyak tapi tak taw nak call sape. bulan depan mak tolong bayarkan broadband okay? hahaha

memang rasa sangat-sangat perlu sebab aku plan nak siapkan assignment cuti seminggu ni tapi aku end up layan cerita korea. jangan salahkan aku sebab memang aku takde can langsung nak buat assignment, takde references. alasan kan tapi betul weh. lecturer zaman canggih manggih ni tawu students diaorang memang suka buat assignment pakai copy paste tenet je. tu yang kasi task macam memang takde kat buku Jack Ketz seberat budak sorang  yang aku beli mahal-mahal tu. 

eh tajuk aku asal pelik je? okay, ingat balik. aku just nak cakap yang aku dah move on. tak kesah lah aku 

move on cepat ke lambat ke, as long as aku tak macam masa mula-mula hari tu dah. 

move on doesn't mean aku dah lupa semua. ni dua minggu je aku rase aku dah okay even tak fully recover tapi no more tears. much better kan? maybe sebab aku patut simpan untuk something or somewhen or for someone who worth it. korang tawu sebab ape? kahkahkah thanks to my mum sebab kasi aku diary or planner actually. okay, now aku ada another bff selain cik bff and blog ni. thanks mak sebab mak macam taw anak dara mak ni tengah jiwa kacau, macam tu la kate cik bff kat aku.

thanks to semua yang banyak kasi aku macam-macam jenis support, mentally and physically as well bila aku selalu merapu kat blog and fb lately. tak kurang jugak yang siap call sebab risaukan aku. see see korang selalu kan, sengaja buat aku nanges balek bila aku dah stop nanges sebab korang sayangkan aku kan? korang nak aku nanges puas-puas mase tu je and tak mau dah nanges lagi. korang buat aku realize banyak benda sebenarnye, dari komen-komen korang dan pesan korang yang buat aku jadi macam spongebob, absorb terus ape korang potpetpotpet. macam ni  

ni jugak

ya allah aku wajib dengar cakap korang

i owe you. all of you.

ni stakat yang aku boleh zahirkan keterharuan aku. belum masuk part yang call aku, texted aku tanyakan khabar dan macam-macam lagi lah. yang sanggup temankan aku amik angin petang-petang bila aku dah tak boleh nak sedut udara sedih dalam bilik aku jugak aku takkan penah lupa weh. aku tak nak mention nama sape-sape tapi aku tahu, aku selalu ada korang mase susah dan happy aku. so, tinggal lagi aku nak terus sedih sebab sorang tu ke nak happy sebab aku ada lagi ramai orang yang sayangkan aku. except for ayah, no one can help me to chase my tears away bila dah sampai part certain certain aku can't be helped.

for the fact that if I'll stay, I'll only get hurt every single day then I've decided, not to hold on any longer. lets start anew, a fresh one so that i will be able to smile again and laughing non-stop. for the unbearable pain, lets break up dude. Im sick of you being stick to be for the past year. 

cheese, senyum jaja......