Sometimes when you feel down, the best thing to do is just sobbing and pray to Allah so that everything's gonna be fine

        Can't let go off this feeling. it did come, sometimes and most of the times.! how can I forget ayah even for a second as i wrote his name together with mine everyday. nor aliza binti abdullah. glad that the name was given by only father I used to have. sobbing for at least 5 times per day, the truth is countless times. even while studying, still shed a tear a while whenever the thought of ayah come across me. This ain't mourning, i'm just being a normal daughter who easily get jealous to see those lucky friends still have a man called AYAH together with them.  I always thought I was so strong but........

           The time just flew right by, i wasn't even have a chance to say goodbye. Ayah left at age of 58-years-old with his well health condition, without no signs. there is nothing weird because it is all said and promised by ALLAH in the first place. ayah had been called home by ALLAH, calmly and peacefully, without having hard times. 

          Thanks ALLAH, for putting me in such circumstances so that i noted how i have been away from You.  Thanks ALLAH for sending me Your love by taking away someone I love. Ayah used to tell us before, there must be a blessing in disguise. is this what you meant ayah.?  can't hold a day, a minute and even a second. it is all fated that already decided  earlier. even ayah's nawaitu to come back after 4 months, nothing can stop ALLAH'S kun fayakun. I believe that from up above, ayah is there watching me and mak, siblings doing well in the right path.

"He created the Heaven and the Earth with truth

and formed you, giving you the best forms.

And He is your final destination"

[At-Tagabun:3] 

till Heaven meet ayah,

ur stubborn daughter