Women in my heart

assalamualaikum semua...

sebab sekarang aku di rumah, dunia aku just orang-orang di rumah dan cerita aku pun mestila pasal orang yang aku jumpa cakap borak sembang hari-hari. aku pun tak berapa nak caya tapi rasa macam aku dah berpaling tadah dengan bff aku sebab aku dah ada bff baru iaitu mak aku and nenek aku hahaha maaf cikgu zakiah, anda di tangga ketiga sebagai bff sekarang. 

pagi dan petang mak aku keja jadi keja aku pulak sembang dengan nenek aku. malam pulak mak pulak ambik alih role as bff. biasa aku layan drama je dengan mak kat tv3 especially malam Jumaat. bising la aku dok ajak dia temankan aku tengok cite antu Anjesmoro tu. biasa mak lipat kain kat sebelah aku jela temankan aku, dia bukan tengok pun sebab mak penakuttttttt haha aku cool je tengok tapi kalo tengok sorang-sorang terus tak cool.

tapi ada lagi 2 orang perempuan yang bukan bff aku sekarang tapi memang bff aku dari dulu sampai sekarang. they are my sisters, nordiana dan nor azura who are kakna and kak uya. 

sebab kakna lebih dulu makan garam, ganti word tua (minggu lepas aku cakap kakna dah 30-an rupenye, dah tua. naseb tak kena cepuk haha) kakna ni senang je dia. walaupun dia jenis orang yang complicated sket, aku sebagai adik dengan cemerlang boleh tackle dia dengan cara halus. senang kata  dia ni hardcore punya orang dengan sentimental value selalu terlebih tapi aku tahu, dia macam tu sebab dalam hati dia penuh kasih sayang untuk orag-orang sekeliling dia. 

dengan sifat pemikir anugerah Allah yang memang takde pada aku, dia banyak sedarkan aku. pasal hidup, pasal rezeki, pasal jodoh dan apa-apa yang aku selalu cari pasal, dia la yang banyak tadah telinga dengar cerita aku. dia punye quote aku akan ingat dan aku pegang selalu, bila Allah duga kita dua benda kita kena ingat. kalau bukan ujian mungkin balasan. tapi dua-dua tanda kasih sayang Allah kat kita.

pasal hidup pulak, aku banyak ikot dia. bila dia mula pakai tudung bidang 55 60 bukan lagi 45, aku pun mula tukar tudung size S aku ke size M. bila dia mula tutup kaki dengan sarung kaki, aku pun belajar beli sarung kaki. bila dia mula pakai baju labuh, aku cuba beli baju tutup punggung. step by step dan sampai sekarang aku sedang belajar untuk istiqamah. walaupun kadang-kadang takut jugak orang cakap-cakap belakang dan perli.

lagi satu, kalau dia beli apa pun, mesti ada untuk aku sekali. tak cukup lagi, kakna jugak bagi aku sorang lagi abang yang tak pernah layan aku macam adik ipar tapi macam adik sendiri. terima kaseh abe.!

kakna and alia

the one yang tanya kakna, aku ni takde bf lagi ke maybe sebab risau aku takde sape nak is, kak uya. dia selalu tengok aku jarang-jarang pegang handphone, cuti-cuti asyik terperap kat rumah je kalau tak ikut dia jalan-jalan and dia maybe stalk facebook aku and see none of suspicious scandals are there hahaha action speaks louder. aku cakap ada pun kalau dia tengok sendiri aku ni gaya orang single apo nok bwet den. 

jangan risau, aku baru 21 and kalau 5 tahun lagi tak kawen even takde bf pun orang takkan pelik. tapi, i believe in my 25 or 26 I will agree to someone who hands in the marriage proposal. *kalau ada, insya allah

she did give me advise on how we, women should paid attention to those who we can count on them. not those who will count on us. aku paham apa yang dia nak sampaikan. kalau nanti kita tercampak dengan dia kat gurun sahara, dia sanggup jalan berbatu-batu dan dapatkan kita air dan jalan balik bagi kita air tu. bukan dia cari, dapat dia sendiri minum. senang kata, kalau tibe-tibe susah dia sanggup buat ape je untuk kita and kita tetap dia punye priority in whatever challenging situation might be. 

and be with whom who will guide us better way. not those who will need us to correct them. yang ni aku paling setuju. takkan kita nak orang yang solat 5 kali sehari pun ada yang miss and orang yang suka kita pakai baju yang tak sepatutnya, suruh kita buat benda yang tak baik. mestila yang kita nak orang yang boleh cubit-cubit manja pipi kita bila kita keluar depan rumah lupa nak tutup kepala and orang yang boleh bisik kat kita, tak baik cakap tu. cuba cakap lembut-lembut sikit dengan anak tuuu *dialog aku sendiri huhu

umi and her only daughter

I usually don't even know how to thank them for being there for me. I'll end up praying for the best for all of them that is certainly, the best gift I can offer them. 

Love you alls :) hug and kisses.

i have two sisters, three brothers and the one and only parent who are ayah dan mak. they complete me. thanks ALLAH.

I have them as well, that kiddos.

khusyuk sungguh. puas hati dapat jugak naik kuda.

mcm2 gaya tgk paragliding. naseb xajak naek same haha

Babysitting

hi hi aunty uncle. saya alia, umur 2 bulan. saya ada kawan jumpa dekat mydin masa ikot  "umi" sy shopping  barang dapur hari tu. tapi dia ingat sy dah 3 bulan. sy cepat besar kan? macam aunt sy jugak :)

Assalamualaikum.

Serius, takde mood berblogging. macam nak jadi silent reader je lepas-lepas ni sebab aku rasa macam takde bakat betul nak mengayat. mengayat? kih3 

just nak share gambar latest aku. kot ada yang rindu. kot takde yang rindu pun, kalau tertengok terpandang boleh teringat aku dalam doamu. *macam aku yang tengah rindukan seseorang. IMY :)

babysitting alia. sekarang aku dah ada bakat sikit nak jaga and pegang riba baby lepas diasah -asah dengan bersungguh-sungguh. bangga, rupanya ada jugak hidden talent dengan budak walaupun sebanarnye aku kayu bile comes to kiddo.

flawless nye muka, sampai malu nk keluar rumah jumpa sape-sape. lepas makan VCO, macam worsen je aku punya acne problem. sebelum ni okay je dgn facial cleanser and moisturizer aku pakai dari sekolah. nape tah :( any idea?

masa temankan my heroes naek kuda dekat pantai irama. see see, macam mana la aku tak pergi pantai hari-hari kalau hari-hari ajak naik kereta kuda. nasib kuda ada weekend je

Kesian

kesian, asal sedih je aku cari 'dia'. bukan aku sengaja, tapi aku rasa 'dia' je yang paling paham aku dan paling boleh simpan rahsia *eh.? biar betul.

aku bukan jenis yang sedih je memanjang tapi dah lumrah, kadang ada la time pasang, time surut, time bulan kembang eh mengambang. lagi-lagi aku ni perempuan tapi to be honest, aku rasa fortunate jugak sebab aku takde pun experience period pain sampai mood swing tak tentu pasal. selalu aku swing tu takde kaitan dengan ape-ape. aku sniri ada problem dengan perasaan aku. simpler said, jiwa kacau heheheee. ni panggil bukak pekung di dada sniri ni :)

and dia kat atas referred to this pity blog. aku pon tak paham asal nak tulis je jadi haaa, dia mai dahhh. sebenarnya pagi tengahari malam aku sekarang ni aku happy je, busy jadi bercucuk tanam anggur hahaha 

sebenarnya sekarang aku rasa hidup aku dah complete. bukan lah nak kata semua perfect, terletak elok tapi camtu la. jenis aku manusia bersyukur kot, apa yang Tuhan kasi tula yang aku suka dan cepat-cepat tadah tangan alhamdulilah. mungkin aku patut beringat jugak, dugaan kesenangan ni lagi bahaya daripada dugaan musibah dan susah. at least kalau susah kita akan study balik, apa salah kita. macam akak aku selalu cakap, dugaan ni senang je nak clarify dia. kalau bukan ALLAH nak uji, balasan Allah MUNGKIN.....tak kira dugaan nikmat atau musibah. 

renung-renungkan dan selamat beramal. :)

P/s : am I'd grown older before I'm supposed to be when this day seems nothing to me.?? bye bye 20, I'm now 21.

Thanks a bunch

another reason that completed MAY as a really really really special month. It's a month of appreciation for the most special person in everyone's life. it's for a mother that was willingly carry us in her big tummy for a nine month time, such a challenging duty for a woman with their known weaknessess and a simple task for a woman with bigheart, just like my mom. I love you mom, that I just can't show it right so you never know how much I heart you.  

 “Heaven lies at the feet of your mother,” Prophet Muhammad was cited as having said. Then, I have come to realise that being a good Muslim, that is, a person who exercises her obligations to God through prayers, fasting, regular charity and good deeds, is the greatest gift I can offer my parents. there's nothing I can give them both that will benefit them hereafter especially ayah who already return to its Creator.

"When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge and righteous offspring who will pray for him”. (Sahih Muslim)

May and farewell.

Assalamualaikum.

Terlambat sedar sekarang dah masuk May. ada sebab aku excited bila dengar je bln May ni. banyak jugak sebabnya sampai aku rasa bulan May sepatutnya ada 2 3 kali setahun hahaha berangan jela nak birthday 2 3 kali setahun. sape nak kasi hadiah kalau banyak-banyak kali kan. okay aku dah bagi hint tu dan paham-paham jela. lambat lagi, seminggu lagi for those yang nak belikan hadiah ke ape nak plan nak belanje makan pun takpe. *ada ke? ahaha

Yesterday was someone's birthday. guess who? hee I know him from past 10 years. even on his birthday, he didn't even care for his birthday present instead he asked me, what is it in my wishlist for my birthday. I didn't say anything because I can give him nothing in return. but then, he insisted to buy me something because he just had a request for me to fulfill. he asked for something I don't think I can give. A photo of mine as a birthday present. I don't have any idea how should I talk to him so that he will understand me. This a letter for someone from my past if he happens to read this blog. I myself feel uneasy if things keep getting complicated like now.

Dear you,

It'd been long long time since we last met in 2008 if I'm not mistaken. In almost 4 years time we didn't see each other and we still live well as anyone can possibly imagine. like we live in different planets where you got things to do and I have mine too. simpler said, we live in different roads that lead us to different paths with no possibilities to meet up along the road. after days, months and years, the road will keep diverging that we don't even have the chance to talk to each other and we might end up not knowing each other anymore even we try hard not to forget the memories we used to have before. Thousand apologize, hope you get my point.

we'd grown and you finally grown as well dude. and I was like puzzled  myself to hear how well you manage to say those words that I'm pretty sure you don't even have in your mind before. you are now a mature and grown man but still you are confusing yourself by holding to the memories. please wake up dude, we are no longer what we used to be. I have known you for quite some times that you are strong enough. prove it, being strong sometimes means being able to let go. It doesn't matter how deep we may have been stuck in a sense of love before. Imagine, if we got lost in the journey we used to be in, it doesn't matter if the journey has been ended for a day, a week, or ten thousand years, we will not going into that place again for the chance of getting lost again there. Once we loose our hope for love and happiness, the pain felt keep reminding us not to be in. Time may heal the anguish of the wound, but the scar cannot and can never be repaired.

It is not a time to look back at the good times instead it is now a time for us to look ahead to live our dreams peacefully and the most important, separately. the past is a good place to visit but not a good  place to stay dear. It is the end of something simple and the beginning of everything new, for me and for you as well. the beginning had started from previous years, just you have to live it well from now onwards. you deserved it anyway. The world is round and the place which may seem like the end, may also be the beginning. it's the time for you to live well and forget the past. please do.!

I wish not to say this but in fact, it's true. every relationship is like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. I don't wanna get hurt again and hate you again in my life. I'd rather come clear with you now, not giving any false hopes that will hurt you more later on. 

A farewell is necessary before we can meet again as two new person with no more butt hurt or pain felt inside, after moments or a lifetime. We will looking forward to it, shall we? Whenever the thought of you and our memories come, I hope I can smile remembering, once in my lifetime, I used to walk together with you being the reason why for the smile on my face. 

'someone from your past '